In our fast-paced modern world, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and stressed out by the demands of daily life. We often find ourselves clinging to things that no longer serve us, whether it’s material possessions, toxic relationships, or negative thought patterns. The art of letting go is about releasing these attachments and freeing ourselves from the burdens that weigh us down.

Letting go is a powerful tool for finding peace in life. By examining the things that are causing us stress and anxiety, we can begin to identify what needs to be released. This might involve decluttering our physical space, finding solutions to toxic relationships, or letting go of limiting beliefs.

However, letting go is not always easy. We often hold onto attachments.

What can we do and how can we practice this concept? Let’s find out.

Understanding Letting Go

It’s common to believe that external factors are responsible for the way we feel. It could be a person, a situation, or even an object that we believe is causing us to feel upset, frustrated, or annoyed. However, the truth is that external factors are not the real cause of our negative emotions. The cause is the idea, concept, or narrative we have in our minds that is causing us to resist what is happening. Actually what happens is, We always have our opinions of right or wrong, and then we judge the situations based on these opinions which causes trouble.

Now I will give you three examples where we will see three different scenarios and how our opinions Cloud our judgment in those times:-

1. Blame others – When we feel upset or annoyed with someone, we tend to blame them for how we feel. We believe that they are the ones who are causing us to feel that way. But in reality, the person is not the cause of our emotions; it’s the idea that we have about them that is causing the problem. We have an expectation of how they should behave or speak, and when they don’t meet our expectations, we feel upset or frustrated. I was part of an institution where my superior was not supportive, to say the least. He found every possible way to put me under the bus. I was annoyed. I was upset because I felt that He was the reason behind my situation. According to me, He was to be blamed.
2. Blame ourselves – We often blame ourselves for not being good enough, strong enough, or disciplined enough. We think that we are the problem and that we need to change ourselves to feel better. However, the real problem is that we have an idea about how we should be, and when we don’t meet that criterion we bash ourselves. We have set unrealistic expectations for ourselves, and when we don’t meet them, we feel bad. I wanted to go for a run daily but I was not doing it regularly. And then I started to get into the self-criticism abyss. Does that help? When I get up late again the next morning, I confirm my conception to myself, that I am not disciplined. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that does not help me in any way.
3. Blame the Activity – When we resist doing something and blame the task or ourselves for not feeling motivated. We think that the activity is boring, or that we lack the strength or motivation to do it. But again, the real cause of resistance is the idea we have about the activity. Picking up and dropping kids to and from school had become such a time-consuming daily chore with each side taking more than an hour. Was the activity boring in itself or was it because of my mental approach to it?

The ideas, concepts, and narratives that we hold in our minds can often cause us to cling to things that disrupt our peace and purposeful action. It’s easy to get attached to our own beliefs and ideas, and when they clash with reality, we can find ourselves feeling anxious and frustrated. Sometimes, these beliefs can be so deeply ingrained that we don’t even realize that they’re the root cause of our problems.

Hold on to the examples I mentioned earlier, as we will come back to them after I share the steps of practicing Letting Go.

Practicing Letting Go

Don’t worry if you hold on to things and emotions. Don’t worry if it’s not easy for you to let go.

Focus on practicing it. Letting go of concepts is a practice that can be developed over time. Now, I will tell you a few simple steps. If you follow them, it will help you develop The Art of Letting Go.

Step 1 – Identify any Disturbing emotions

To begin, we need to notice when we are experiencing difficulty or negative emotions. This could be a frustration with ourselves, someone else, or a situation we are facing. When we recognize this, it creates an opportunity to manage it. Because only when we know that we are not feeling good enough and we really want to work towards it that we will try to change something.

Step 2 – Feel the emotions in your body

The second step is to simply be with the emotion without judgment. If we are feeling frustration, for example, we can allow ourselves to feel it as a physical experience in our body rather than getting caught up in the narrative of frustration. Don’t try to fix it. Just try to locate where in the body you feel it. For me, I usually feel the emotions in my heart center or in my stomach. Sometimes I also feel them Around my temple.

Step 3 – Let go of the mental concept

The third step is to let go of the mental concept that is causing the difficulty. This is often an idea of how we think things should be And when they are not our way we get Disturbed. By releasing this mental concept, we experience freedom. Once we identify the idea that is causing the difficulty, we can imagine letting go of it and experiencing the moment as is. By doing so, we are not letting ourselves or others off the hook. Instead, we are freeing ourselves from the attachment to an idea that is causing us to suffer.

Step 4 – Experience the Moment

Now that we have let go of our mental concepts we can experience the moment as is. We are no longer bound by our ideas of how things should be, and instead, we can be present with the reality of the moment. We can be curious about something in the present moment, feel gratitude, or simply be in awe of the moment. This allows us to experience life purely and without any preconceived ideas.

Step 5 – Go take Action

Finally, once we are free from our mental concepts, we can take action if necessary. We can tackle the task we were resisting or have a conversation with someone without the frustration that was previously holding us back. Being free doesn’t mean we don’t take action, but we approach it from a different perspective. Instead of simply seeking to change what we don’t like, we should first accept things as they are and then create change from a different place. By doing so, we may be able to discover new and innovative ways to transform our current circumstances.

Now, let’s go back to my examples. Remember the institution I was a part of where the superior was making my life difficult? I was upset and He was to blame.

If I resolve this problem using the above approach, then the steps would go like this – –

1. First, I would notice that I am upset about this particular situation.
2. Then, I try to feel the emotion in my body without any judgment or any attempt to fix it. I would feel the frustration and anger.
3. I look at this objectively and let go of the “EXPECTATION” that my superior has to behave in a particular way. Note that, at this stage don’t consider this as inaction.
4. Now I can think freely and look at the situation from a different perspective – I am grateful for my job and that it’s near my house. The perks are good. Lastly, I can now explore an alternate approach to engage with my senior. I could talk to him or involve my HOD in the conversation.

The point is that you start to look at it from a different perspective. An Objective angle, without any burden. And that opens up your mind to possibilities. On the other hand, When you are stressed out and burdened by emotions, your rational thinking is clouded. And you keep falling deeper into the abyss.

Now, let’s look at the next example. The lack of discipline in going for a run and the associated self-criticism. When I free myself from self-bashing and mental baggage, I am able to think freely. I feel lighter and can approach the problem from a different angle. I realize, I just need to put on my shoes, then things will follow. So, every morning as I wake up, I just focus on that. I stop bothering about the big fat problem of being fit and disciplined and so on. I focus on now. I woke up. Lemme put on my shoes. Thats it. I was able to find this solution after I let go of self-bashing for not being disciplined. Even if I miss a day here and there, it’s okay, I don’t need to criticize myself. Or be judgemental about it. Can I make up for it? maybe an evening walk? yeah, That works. Doesnt it? And slowly but surely, I start to fall into a routine and develop a healthy habit

On to our third example. Where I found the chore of dropping kids to school every day utterly boring and a drag. When I stopped blaming the activity and let go of the resistance, I was able to create change from a different perspective. I started dropping them on a bicycle – it was good exercise and I started looking at it as an opportunity to have a good time with kids.

By practicing these steps regularly, we can become more adept at letting go. Of course, letting go of our mental concepts is easier said than done. It requires practice and patience. We may find ourselves slipping back into old patterns of thought, and that’s okay. The important thing is to keep coming back to the present moment and to keep letting go of our mental concepts as they arise.

To truly let go, we have to cultivate a sense of mindfulness and self-awareness. This means acknowledging our attachments and the emotions that come with them, without judgment or criticism. And I repeat, it’s not easy and doesn’t become your second nature overnight. It takes time. Just like any new skill, it needs practice. It requires patience, perseverance, and a willingness to embrace change. It is a process of self-discovery and growth, and it can be deeply transformative. Through letting go, we can find a sense of calm, clarity, and purpose in our lives.

Please try it and let me know your experiences in the comments. I would love to hear from you.