“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow; it only saps today of its joy.” – Leo F. Buscaglia

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” – Elbert Hubbard

We worry a lot. We all do. Some of the worries are ok, but a lot of them are not. Can we do something about it? Is there a framework to fix this? Let’s find out.

As I recall this incident, I still get shivers, even though it’s been quite a while now.

One day, I was in the kitchen when I heard my little daughter scream.

I rushed to the room and found that her finger had come in the door. I choked, opened the door and found her finger almost amputated, barely dangling by a few millimetres of skin left. It happened just under the point where the nail begins.

I somehow regained my senses, tried to stop the bleeding with freezing water, and then wrapped her hand and took her to the doctor.

All this while she was in a lot of pain and crying. She went through a small surgery and had her fingers wrapped tight and held straight by an ice cream stick. She was smiling.

Doctors mentioned that they need to monitor her every week to ensure that the finger has recovered and if the nail can grow back again as it was completely ruptured from the base.

We came back from the hospital. It was a rough day for sure, but it should all be fine now. She had received the treatment and was sleeping. But my head was full of worries. I could not sleep at all.

Would it heal well? What would it look like when they open and check next week? What did I do? I should have been with her. Will her nail grow normally? Hope there is no other issue. Why had the doctors insisted on visiting multiple times? I could not concentrate on anything for those 2 weeks.

Our worries consume us. And most of the time, we are the ones cooking the various doomsday scenarios in our heads.

I discovered this simple yet powerful philosophy in the book Life’s Amazing Secrets by Gaur Gopal Das. It’s such a simple explanation of the principle of detachment from things beyond our control. Trust me, once you apply this principle in your life, worry will not be a part of it anymore. So here goes.

Do you have a problem in life? If you don’t have any problem, then why worry?

Do you have a problem in life? Yes, Can you do something about it? yes – then just do it, and then why worry?

Do you have a problem in life? Yes, Can you do something about it? no if you can’t do anything about it, then why worry?

The point is not that you should not do anything about the problem. Do what you can to resolve the matter, but after that, take your attention away from the worries as the outcome is beyond your control. Sometimes when we are engrossed in a problem, we feel anxious and trapped in our minds. We constantly churn our issues, causing a lot of emotional pain. This framework gives us the ability to come out of this mental loop.

Back to that incident, I had done my part by giving emergency first aid and taking my kiddo to the doc. Now she was being taken care of, by the experts. Was there anything else I could do? No. Right. Then, I should not worry about what was to come. As those future medical reports were not in my control.

I know, I know, it’s easier said than done. It looks convincing in the theoretical sense. But the actual implementation is a different ball game altogether. Even if I think about that incident now, I don’t know if I will be able to block those worries completely. But yes, definitely I will be a lot calmer.

I can tell you from experience that just by being aware of this framework, you can be in a better position. And then, from that point on, you can practice and improve slowly. Rome wasn’t built in a day, right? I see a remarkable change in myself as I have practised this simple concept over and over again.

Do give it a try. Start with more minor worries. And let me know how it goes in the comments section below.